I’ll be honest, I’ve been struggling to write this post for a long time.

I’ve tried to keep to my plan of posting once a season as a way to share things, and to have a record of what I’ve been up to, what life has been like—even just for myself.

But it’s been hard when it feels like I don’t have much to share.

Although, we did get to see the aurora from our own backyard in October, which was a literal dream come true.

And I had two milestones happen in November: finally getting my UK driving license, and becoming a dual citizen. So that’s been really special, and also a huge weight off my shoulders.

Both of those are also a massive privilege, which I do not take lightly.

We also saved a bumblebee, so I’ll call that a win.

Over the last month or so I’ve also started to really commit to Heist Book, my new WIP, which I started way back in 2022 (I think? Time is weird), and then got back into briefly in August, but now I’m fully in it, and it feels great.

I’ve been in limbo for so long, so to finally get some momentum going again on the things I can control is helping to quiet the brain weasels.

From the new year I’ll be shifting focus completely onto Heist Book, but I’m still deciding if I want to pursue self-publishing, or give querying one more go. Either way, there’s much to consider, and I know lots of writers are in a similar situation, so I’d love any advice/thoughts.

But then, of course, life always gets in the way, even when I’m deep in the fun plotting and drafting and scheming stage. It’s tough to keep the momentum going when there’s a lot of other stuff happening.

Mental health has, uh, not been great lately because of *gestures at the whole world*.

I’m really struggling to believe that it’s been five years since COVID started. Five fucking years of this nightmare.

I really hoped we’d be past it by now. I really hoped people would’ve actually come together to protect one another, and worked to make sure it was eradicated. But I guess that shows how naive I am.

The last five years have felt like a group project at school, where you’re working hard to keep on top of your studies, and get good grades, and then you’re forced to work with other people who don’t give a shit.

Who are just there because they have to be.

They only care about themselves, and they’re not going to lift a finger to help, because why would they. Even though it’s a GROUP project.

And then you get a bad grade, and you’re punished because they didn’t pull their weight.

That’s what this all feels like.

Here are the facts: COVID isn’t a cold. Your acute symptoms may feel that way, but it’s causing long-term damage you won’t feel until it’s too late.

It’s essentially airborne HIV, and it causes cumulative damage each time you get it.

Masks are the only thing right now that stop COVID and other illnesses from spreading. They work. Period. Especially KN95/N95 respirators.

The science is clear. Whether you choose to ignore it is your choice, but your choices affect other people. And that’s on you.

So how about you all wear masks? And get vaccinated every six months while you’re at it. Give a damn again, even just for your own sake, if not to protect disabled and vulnerable people.

Because it’s not gone. It never went away. (And now bird flu is coming, and it’s gonna be even worse...) The powers-that-be lied to you to get you back to work, back to spending money, and your kids back to school.

Capitalism has killed all sense of public responsibility and empathy and communal care, but I’ll be damned if I give in to that, and give up.

But I’m tired of feeling alone in this fight.

I’m so tired.

If I haven’t scared you off yet, thank you for being here. As a palate-cleanser, here are some treats I made recently: these really banging Nutella-stuffed cookies, and fresh pasta in honor of my grandfather.

Links & Things

Please check out Nicole’s brilliant patreon and substack, and help me boost her fantastic editorial services! She is a genius and a gem of a human who deserves the whole world and more.
This post by Frankie really hit me. It encapsulates everything I’ve been feeling, and maybe it will for you too.
Premee Mohamed’s short story about the Voyager probe gave me emotional damage. It’s now one of my favorite things ever.
This is an excellent post by De on how to survive the query/sub trenches. It’s rough out there dudes.
Ijeoma Oluo’s writing is always a balm, and a call to action. This post is required reading.
And Joyce is always a font of wisdom. This post of hers really rang true, and she’s launched an exciting new account full of writerly advice and tips, so go give it a follow!

Recent Favorite Reads

I was so excited to read the final entry in Celestine Martin’s wonderful trilogy, which is a GODDAMN DELIGHT. If you haven’t picked up these swoony, steamy, charming cosy fantasy romances, you are missing out! The first is Witchful Thinking, the second is Kiss and Spell, and the third is Deja Brew and they’re all set in a magical town on the Jersey Shore called Freya Grove.

These books gave me life, and it’s so hard to try and pick a favorite, but I think it might be Kiss and Spell? It had me kicking my feet and squealing. But aghh Deja Brew had THE BEST autumn vibes? Basically, I need you to read them all and then we can yell about them together.

These three books literally changed me. I’m not usually a crier when I’m reading, but Mornings in Jenin was just…devastating. Please read it, but be aware of the content warnings. And then please help these vetted mutual aid funds (here and here) for people suffering these very real tragedies.

Similarly with Kindred and the Parable of the Sower, they were both harrowing. So, so harrowing. I had book hangovers after both of them, and they’ve reshaped how I see the world, how I think about the past and the future. Butler really was a visionary, and an oracle, and we are fools to not have learned from her wisdom. These are required reading, especially for folks in the US, because history is repeating itself and we all need to decide what kind of future we want.

Some other rays of light lately have been the AMAZING novels that I’ve been fortunate enough to do beta reads for, and I’m so grateful to call these talented and lovely writers my friends <3

New Tunes

Continuing my devotion to Loreen, here’s a gorgeous orchestral version of my favorite song by her

This song appeared on a shuffle, and I’m so glad it did. Rose’s voice is stunning.

This was sent to me by the amazing Jaria, and it PERFECTLY encapsulates the male MC of Venice Book. The singer’s voice is really something else too.

This song slaps. That is all.

And of course, the latest from Himself, which is a PERFECT song for Heist Book.

Thanks for reading. Please mask up and protect each other. We are all we have.