Looking Back & Ahead
Hello again, and thanks for indulging my rant last time about covid. Unfortunately all of what I wrote back in August is still relevant, and it hit close to home in September, which is why things here fell by the wayside a bit.
Basically, for the last few years I've been planning (and putting off) a huge dream trip to Italy for a family member and my partner, since they'd always wanted to go. I was so excited to show them all the sights, and revisit Venice too. We finally decided to go, so starting last January I planned and booked everything for September. Then about halfway through the trip, my family member caught covid, and we had to isolate and cancel everything else. It was awful.
I masked everywhere (and I mean, everywhere, in the 90F/30C heat) for the whole trip, and I tried so hard to keep us all safe, but covid still fucked everything up. It really tanked my mental health, and my covid anxiety skyrocketed.
Although let's be honest *insert Hulk gif* I'm always (covid) anxious.
Eternal Mood
We were so fortunate to see what we could though, like the tiny village where my great-grandfather was born, and luckily my family member is doing better, and my partner and I stayed negative since we masked religiously. So at the risk of sounding like a paranoid broken record, masks really fucking work. Please mask up anywhere you're sharing air, in N95/KN95 style ones if you can. They offer the best protection.
Obviously that trip being cancelled doesn't matter in the slightest given everything going on in the world right now, but I wanted to share a bit of what happened.
Some photos from the trip.
The last one is from the tiny village where my great-grandfather was born.
After that I went into full hermit mode, just trying to stay safe and feel safe again. And then I got laid off from my job, which was also not fun.
So September/October were tough mental health-wise, and I'm still dealing with some things from then. But to be honest, it feels like each month has been getting worse in terms of the wider world, hasn't it?
I was given an incredible opportunity in October though, so I want to celebrate that for a moment. I entered my next novel BY ALL THE SAINTS AND STARS aka Venice Book into Smooch Pit, and was (somehow, amazingly) chosen! So I've got an incredible mentor I'm working with, and we're revising it to get it ready for the agent showcase on Valentine's Day. Which is, terrifyingly, only six weeks from now? What??
So that's been a huge boost, and I've been trying to make progress on the revisions over these past few weeks with my mentor. I really hope this will make the book even stronger, and that we might have some agent interest, but even if not, I'm so grateful for the chance to improve my book with an experienced (and soon-to-be published!) author.
I also need to shout from the rooftops about these AMAZING sketches I've received from the brilliant Jaria Rambaran!! I'm going to be commissioning Jaria for some art for Venice Book, and she already started sketching the characters!!! I'm just! Speechless!! She absolutely captured their personalities and how I imagined them looking, and she included a cameo of one of her OC's as well, since she and my female MC would definitely be best friends!!
They've been giving me life, and I can't wait to share more about the art I'm commissioning too! Go and give her a follow, she's the best.
I mean....aren't they incredible?
I've also been racking up rejections for Raven Book, which is still out there in the query trenches. I've had some interest though, so that's been super exciting. There's still hope for it, but I've pretty much shifted focus over to Venice Book for now. I gave RB another red hot go, but I want to give VB the best chance I can right now, especially in the final countdown of my mentorship with Smooch Pit.
AND I've had a few new story ideas, which I'm really enjoying, and very grateful for as well. It's always a mindfuck when your brain has convinced you that you'll never have another idea again in your life, and then BOOM, when you're listening to a song, or out for a walk, or something jogs your interest, a new idea presents itself.
I still need to ruminate on them for a while longer to see if they actually have potential, and maybe start doing some preliminary research for them (bc a history nerd's gonna history, no matter what), but I'm tucking them away right now like little embers of hope in what has generally been a really shit time.
In the lead up to the holiday season I've been in full-on hobbit/nesting mode as well, decorating our house and trying new recipes. I'm also really trying to lean into practicing gratitude every day, which is super cliché, but has been helping to ground me when the whole world feels so dark. I have so much to be thankful for, and I really am.
Here are my new favorite things that have been keeping me going and giving me serotonin lately. I'd love to know what's been bringing light into your life.
Thanks as always for reading. I hope you all had a lovely holiday season, and I hope everyone stays safe and well this winter. (PS - Keep masking, and posting about Palestine!)
~M
The yearly rewatch of the LOTR trilogy is sacrosanct
Recent Favorite Reads
First up is one of my CP and writer friend's books, JAGGED EMERALD CITY. It's a fabulous and deeply insightful ecopunk urban fantasy, but it's also so much more than that! The main character is brilliantly three-dimensional as she deals with depression and neurodivergence and healing from trauma, and has to team up with a certain annoyingly handsome broody guardian character 👀 I definitely recommend you check this one out!!
The Emotional Wound Thesaurus probably needs no introduction, but I wanted to mention it since my mentor recommended it, and it's been a big help in my revisions. It really helps to dig down into your character's deepest fears, and what makes them tick.
Ohhh my goshh, WITCHFUL THINKING by Celestine Martin is one of my favorite reads from this whole year. It's about a witch from a family of witches who lives in a magical town on the Jersey shore, and she reconnects with her high school sweetheart, who also happens to be a gorgeous merman, I mean, what more do you need? It's sweet and heartfelt and romantic and SPICY, and I just loved the characters and the world. I can't wait to dive into the other books in the series, and the author's mentioned maybe continuing it further 🤞🏻
Links & Things
Ok I've amassed quite a few links and newsletters over the last couple months, since I didn't end up posting at the end of the summer. Oops! But I hope you enjoy this (very large) roundup.
With the horrific genocide happening in Palestine right now, it's more important than ever that we all speak up against it and call for an immediate and lasting ceasefire. Wherever you live, please contact your representatives and plead for the people of Palestine. We can also support their creators, writers and artists by sharing their work. The writer Hiba Abu Nada was murdered in October, but her stunning words live on here.
This poem by Naomi Shihab Nye is so lovely and universal, and reflects exactly what we need more of today.
I've recently discovered some Substacks I really love, and Kayti Christian's is one of those. I really resonate with these posts of hers about burnout and where do we go after a big life change and just generally being a millenial in the world today, and on what being "good enough" really means to each of us. This one also hit home with its raw truths.
This substack always transports me to this dreamy chateau in France, and I love reading the weekly catchups each Sunday.
Another online creator I love is Frankie. Her instagram and substack have given me moments of clarity and calm, and validation in some tough times.
This short story by Emma Törzs floored me with its beauty and brutality. Like an old fairy tale, cruel and haunting.
Ijeoma Oluo's newsletters are always a fortifying deep breath of hope. Her work and her words are so important, please go and support her. This post from August is still true, and this one from November is a gut punch of truth and useful action points.
Vida Cruz's post about active protagonists, "agency" in fiction, and whiteness is required reading.
De Elizabeth's newsletters and instagram posts are so relatable, and I really resonated with this one about writing the next thing while you're in the trenches.
I came across this on Twitter a while back, and it's also an incredibly important post by Sarah Gailey about power dynamics in publishing, especially for white people, even if we're unagented/unpublished.
This post by Sara Danver offers a brilliant take on the history and American-perspective of what's happening in the US right now, and in Palestine. This line really hit me: "Hope does not require my certainty, only my commitment."
And finally, please check out Cassiopeia Gatmaitan's new short story "In the Deep, We Find the Stars". It's so beautiful.
New Music
I'd first heard about Loreen from last year's Eurovision contest which she won, but this song is my absolute favorite of hers.
This group has such a fun old-school sound with their horn section and catchy tunes.
This group also has such a cool throwback sound.
I am by no means a metal-head, but this band definitely makes me want to be one. They're inspired by British folklore and history, and their sound leans heavier and kinda psychedelic/spooky. This one has big Tolkien/barrow-wight vibes, and I'm here for it.
I love Ella Henderson's voice, so when this came up on her new songs, I also fell in love with Cian Ducrot. This is going to be a classic repeat on my christmas playlist, I can already tell. It's festive and fun, but also has a touch of existential nostalgia, which is my jam.
Way back in the elder days of my youth, I played the cello, so I still have a huge soft spot for it in any music. This cellist lives in the Irish countryside and plays outside with the accompaniment of his dog and the local birds, which is just a magical lifestyle, isn't it? This christmas song is one of my favorites, and I love the birdsong captured in the live recording too.